It is no secret that women would qualify as perhaps the most consistently oppressed group of people in the world. And just as any Black American would chafe at being referred to as “my nigger” by friends from outside his racial group, most (sensible) women would bristle if their husbands exclaimed “Bitch, I thought you said you were gonna be ready when I got home!” However, in-group and amongst themselves, some women — and many more than we might suspect — casually refer to one another as bitches…often with a sense of relish.
People who suffer under the yoke of oppression oftentimes develop the strange dynamic of adopting from their oppressors certain terms used to disparage the larger group to which they belong. When used in-group by the oppressed, these terms somewhat lose their negative connotations, and instead, they are transformed into rallying cries that bind the group in defiance. However, when these terms are used by members of the oppressed group in general addresses (whose potential audience includes people outside the group), problems arise — as members of the group often begin to act-out in accordance with the terms’ original negative meanings.
Such a dynamic can readily be witnessed in modern society’s attempts to grapple with the word nigger. That particular word carries such historically powerful negative implications that it can now only be hinted at in polite society (by use of the term “N-word”): even then, people outside the group (Black Americans) against which the term was used as a tool of oppression tread lightly. When the term was embraced by the music from many members of the Rap/Hip-Hop culture that emerged in the 1990s, it often merely served as an invocator used to justify the most self-damning behaviors — violence, drug pushing, etc.
The modern use of the term bitch is a reference to the darker side of femininity, unreasonableness, and the impatient impulse that proclaims I want what I want, when I want it! (while lacking any accountability for any errors committed in its pursuit): we begin to see a pattern of response to oppression emerge when women refer to each other in such a fashion. In the group dynamics of women’s interactions, more often than not, the one who is the “biggest bitch” wins the day — and a Bitch Politic develops. At the same time, those characteristics we refer to as being bitch are by no means the exclusive domain of women; men also act impatiently and impudently — while attempting to avoid accountability for their actions, at every step along the way.
When momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy! In many homes and many relationships, across many lands, these words ring painfully true. For a variety of reasons, women have been visited with a generally unhappy outlook on life, for quite some time — perhaps for millennia. Chief among those reasons is sexual frustration.
At least with respect to the realm of sexual engagement, the title of The Strongest Sex is conferred upon women by Mother Nature herself. The female of the species is built for endurance. Consider the ultimate biological climax of human sexuality: pregnancy and childbirth. During pregnancy, women endure a lengthy process of physical, emotional and psychological discomfort that would break the spirit of most men. And the combined agony and ecstasy of childbirth has been proven to invoke levels of pain that would drive the average man insane.
However, it is also in the realm of normal sexual relations (for the sake of pleasure) where women are the stronger sex. Here too, women are long haul players, with the average woman reporting a minimum climax horizon of at least ten-to-twenty minutes. When the question of the average time-to-climax/ejaculation males is asked of males, one often encounters responses veiled with an ego-protective vagueness: It depends upon so many factors! With individual respondents’ answers ranging from a matter of seconds to a few minutes — to much longer periods — an agreed-upon average of approximately two-to-five minutes emerges.
Owning up to the facts, men have long been withered by the seeming constitutional superiority of the female during the process of sexual engagement. This fear is founded upon a misunderstanding of the respective roles and goals of the male versus those of the female, during sexual interactions. More importantly, it has served as the motivational basis for repression of women in primarily patriarchal cultures — for thousands of years. In many cultures, women have been systematically robbed of any hope of gaining pleasure from sexuality; and through barbaric practices such as female circumcision and genital mutilation, they’ve been reduced to not much more than breeding stock. In others, women are required to be shrouded when they appear in public – to avoid inciting the wanton desires of males who might seek to lead them astray.
At least in modern Western society, there seems to be a newfound sense of appreciation for the increasing liberation of the female. No doubt, women have suffered through an ages-old repressive regime that is woven throughout the fabric of various religions and more generalized social interactions. However, the “dirty little secret” that has fueled this oppression is a lack of understanding of the true potentials and responsibilities of male sexuality; and it ever threatens to undermine women’s ability to stake their claim to happiness.
In an age where women continue a slow surge toward a state of societal parity — imparting an increasingly matriarchal twist (albeit an angry one) to things — we’re beginning to see the Bitch Politic come into full bloom. Women’s empowerment is burgeoning. However, they have yet to begin to taste real happiness. Until we can find the way to help momma find the happiness to which she’s entitled, all under Heaven will suffer.
In this book, I will attempt to make the case that improper education of the male (particularly with regard to his own sexuality) has served as the basis for the unbalanced societal mindset that has fueled women’s oppression — throughout history. Counter to common belief, ejaculation and orgasm in the male are far from being synonymous aims of sexual engagement. Ejaculation by the male precludes the possibility of his orgasm; in actuality, orgasm is even more elusive an experience for the male than it is for the female. Both mental discipline and physical discipline are required to successfully engage a woman in the sexual arena. When the male emerges from a sexual encounter alive, having retained and internally re-circulated his semen, his strengthened mental discipline and increased vigor are the result — and he will have better facilitated his feminine partner’s fulfillment.
The process of developing the discipline necessary for the male to achieve mastery over himself — particularly during the sexual exchange — allows him to break free from his subjectivity and participation in the Bitch Politic. In command of himself, he can then begin the work necessary to remove the shackles placed upon the woman so long ago. Finally whole and truly complementary, male and female might then begin to collaborate to hasten the evolution of our species toward a more productive milieu.
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2. Fisher, Max. “Saudi Arabia’s Oppression of Women Goes Way beyond Its Ban on Driving.” Washington Post. The Washington Post, 28 Oct. 2013. Web. 29 May 2014. http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2013/10/28/saudi-arabias-oppression-of-women-goes-way-beyond-its-ban-on-driving/
3. “Bitch.” Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com, n.d. Web. 30 May 2014. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bitch?s=t
1. a female dog: The bitch won first place in the sporting dogs category.
2. a female of canines generally.
a. a malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, especially a woman.
b. a lewd woman.
c. Disparaging and Offensive. any woman.
4. Slang. a person who is submissive or subservient to someone, usually in a humiliating way: Tom is so her bitch — he never questions what she decides.
a. a man who willingly or unwillingly submits to the will and control of a dominant partner in a sexual relationship, especially with another man; as in prison bitch : Watch out, or your cellmate will make you his prison bitch.
b. a gay man who assumes the passive or female role in a sexual relationship.
4. Conger, Cristen. “Do Men and Women Feel Pain Differently?” HowStuffWorks. HowStuffWorks.com, 08 Feb. 2010. Web. 30 May 2014. http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/men-women-pain.htm
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6. “Orgasm.” Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, 28 May 2014. Web. 30 May 2014. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgasm
7. Lightfoot-Klein, Hanny. “Erroneous Belief Systems Underlying Female Genital Mutilation in Sub-Saharan Africa and Male Neonatal Circumcision in the United States: A Brief Report Updated.” National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers. The Third International Symposium on Circumcision; University of Maryland, College Park, Maryland, 22 May 1994. Web. 30 May 2014. http://www.nocirc.org/symposia/third/hanny3.html
8. “Burqa.” Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, 27 May 2014. Web. 30 May 2014. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burqa
9. Strovny, David. “Understanding The Male Orgasm.” AskMen. N.p., n.d. Web. 30 May 2014. http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_100/143_love_tip.html
10. “Taoist Sexual Practices.” Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, 27 May 2014. Web. 30 May 2014. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taoist_sexual_practices