Truly, the development of a steadfast discipline and sense of integrity are the keys to attainment of all forms of wealth — be they mental, spiritual, physical, material, or otherwise. With respect to integrity, only life experience might serve to inform one of its great value. However, it might be surprising for some to learn that (particularly for males) exercises which involve restraint during sexual intercourse are among the surest methods of strengthening one’s overall sense of discipline.
Thus, we have come to the point in our discussion at which we are sufficiently grounded to begin to examine the methods of manifesting physical (sexual) power.
It’s becoming increasingly evident that, at least in modern Western civilization, there is much lacking in the way that we educate our young — particularly with respect to sexuality. Within the context of the family unit, discussions of sexuality are still very much taboo. Parents tend to speak to their kids only in terms of the dangers that attend the various forms of sexual engagement. Reserved as adult pleasures, there seems to be no agreed-upon format within which parents can speak with their children about the great joys that are possible through sexuality. As a result, adolescents become distrustful of their parents’ motives — thinking that perhaps they are attempting to hide something good. Thus, they often avoid sharing with their parents their own thoughts regarding sexuality; and there is almost no comfortable framework within which they might speak about their direct experiences.
Even in more structured educational presentations, so much emphasis is placed upon the potential negative results of sexual engagement (i.e., unplanned pregnancy, transmission of disease, etc.) that adolescents are often filled with anxiety about sexuality. While being driven by hormonal impulse, adolescents are left to poke around blindly in their attempts to reconcile all the negative input (from most who are in authority) about sexuality against their correct intuition that there must be something good about it! With such a pall cast upon their thoughts about this most basic human urge, during a period in which the tone for their lives as mature adults is being established, is it any wonder that society is full of so many emotionally twisted souls?
Leaving our young to their own devices is an increasingly hazardous strategy in this era of unprecedented access to information. Unfortunately, to many young people, it seems that the only “positive” messages that are available with respect to sexual methodology come as part of the package of pornography. However, because the goal of pornographic presentations is to titillate — not to educate — young people often enter adulthood with a thoroughly skewed understanding of both the goals of sexuality and the potentials of sexual energy.
Perhaps things are this way because even the parents themselves do not know the truth. How could they? Cultural traditions have served to promote and reinforce ignorance regarding the powerful uses of sexual energy and the means of cultivating it — ostensibly with the intent to protect us from the corrupting influences of that power. And with the prevalence of disease threats such as HIV/AIDS (which continues to spread throughout the world), social institutions and responsible professionals must now add the caveat “Sex can kill!” to their messages that might otherwise be mostly uplifting.
Mastery begins by taking the first step, then the next
The research team of William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson met in 1957 (coincidentally, the year of my birth), and they began to revolutionize the way Americans would talk and think about sex. The two classic texts based upon their research, Human Sexual Response and Human Sexual Inadequacy (published in 1966 and 1970, respectively), were groundbreaking in their method of investigation: subjects engaged in masturbation and sexual intercourse while being observed in a laboratory setting. Although Alfred Kinsey had released an earlier work on sexuality (The Kinsey Reports), published in two volumes in 1948 and 1953, respectively, his work relied on interview responses. The work of Masters and Johnson was notable for its relative objectivity. I still remember sneaking around reading my parents’ copy of one of their books, as a child.
A troubled start
Having come of age in the early 1970s, I was as undereducated as anyone else, with regard to the true potentials for the use of sexual energy. Of course, we had learned in school about conception, pregnancy, contraception, venereal disease, love and marriage; but, practical knowledge was only available on the streets. Despite all the talk about “Free Love,” and such things as were part of the Hippie culture, it wasn’t until the 1980s and the regular TV appearances of Dr. Ruth Westheimer that informed conversations about sexuality began to enter the mainstream. As best I remember, Dr. Ruth (as she was widely known) espoused a platform that celebrated the joys of sex, with a message that was aimed primarily at women. There simply was not much straight-talk out there about how a young man was supposed to cultivate genital strength. With respect to males, the conversation was limited to whether or not a man could get and maintain an erection. Unfortunately, to this day, the mainstream conversation has not evolved a great deal beyond that point.
There was the occasional pained discussion about premature ejaculation; however, that was supposedly a different condition from one’s being a two-minute man — which was accepted as the unfortunate lower limit of the range of “functional” sexuality. (Even to this day, a commonly available internet source reports an international average time-to-ejaculation = 5.4 minutes, out of 4000 cases studied. For healthy males involved in intercourse with females, the actual times before first ejaculation ranged from thirty seconds to forty minutes,) I must admit to having been one of those two-minute men. It was pure hell to listen to comedians joke about guys like me – with such derision. In fact, even well into my thirties, I could only dream of love-making encounters involving penetration that lasted for more than half an hour. Perhaps it was just a curse of birth that I happened to be simultaneously highly sensitive and not massively endowed. Looking back upon those days, I can say that my feelings of inadequacy at least served to keep me from rampant promiscuity; and that was just as well, because I was married. Besides, casual sex was really never my thing, anyway. And while some of my more adventurous contemporaries were reporting beddings of hundreds of women, they were also reporting encounters with venereal disease.
A few years into the marriage, I decided to try cocaine — foolishly following the suggestion of an older friend whom I trusted otherwise. Although it seemed at first to have a beneficial effect upon my sexual stamina (part of the particularly evil allure of that substance), cocaine became an extremely problematic influence upon my life for quite some time after the benefits of its effects upon my libido began to subside. Based on my quite extensive experimentation with cocaine, alcohol, marijuana, and a few other odd substances, I strongly recommend against the use of any substance for the purpose of “getting high”; the admonition is redoubled in the case of those substances that seem to have an aphrodisiac effect. I no longer use any such substances (except for an occasional alcoholic drink, and then, only in social settings), and have not done so for many years. Truth be told, I am blessed to have survived such foolishness; many of my contemporaries did not.
It wasn’t until well into the “troubled” period of my first marriage that I began to study about methods that involved exercise as a means of increasing my sexual effectiveness. Based upon Taoist sexology, those works recommended concepts (such as seminal retention, Qigong, spirit babies, etc.) that were completely foreign to my sensibilities and background; I thought them to be not much more than fantasy and myth. Still, I continued to read; and to practice, however unsuccessfully.
Out of the woods
After the failure of my first marriage, suspecting that the troubled sexual dynamics of the relationship were partially to blame, I began to focus my energies upon strengthening my resolve. [In all due fairness to the spirit of this testimony, I must also mention that my wife suffered from a quite debilitating depressive illness. The result of a traumatic head injury, it deeply plagued the latter years of our marriage. She continues to suffer until this day — and my heart goes out to her. She deserved better. Out of love and also respect for her privacy, I will refrain from making further mention of our time together herein.] I pored over the references that I had on-hand, in an attempt to correct my method. Instead of attempting to summarize here all the valuable wisdom contained in those texts, I recommend the following works:
- Taoist Secrets of Love; Cultivating Male Sexual Energy (by Mantak Chia and Michael Winn)
- The Tao of Sexology: The Book of Infinite Wisdom (by Dr. Stephen Thomas Chang)
- Qigong, The Secret of Youth: Da Mo’s Muscle/Tendon Changing and Marrow/Brain Washing Classics (by Yang Jwing Ming)
Then came the rather serendipitous moment when I had to submit to a urine test during the application process for a new job. My one big problem was that, at the time, I was a regular marijuana smoker. A friend provided me with a gallon of an herbal mixture that he guaranteed would help me pass the drug screen — provided that I was able to successfully distill the masking preparation within my bladder. As fate would have it, the method of internal distillation of urine (which I will provide below, under the name The Water Ordeal) involved a rather extreme variant of the Kegel Exercises: these are the exercises primarily recommended to women as a method of regaining tone in the pelvic floor muscles, following pregnancy and delivery. I accomplished the distillation process and successfully delivered a urine sample in which no traces of prohibited substances were found. As a secondary benefit, through exercising and toning the Pubococcygeus (otherwise known as the pelvic floor, or PC) muscle, I was afforded almost complete control over the ejaculation impulse during sexual intercourse.
The Water Ordeal
“In customary law, [ordeal is] a test of guilt or innocence in which the accused undergoes dangerous or painful tests believed to be under supernatural control. Ordeals by fire or water are the most common. Burns suffered while passing through fire (as in Hindu custom) or rejection (i.e., being buoyed up) by a body of water (as in witch trials) would be regarded as proof of guilt. In ordeal by combat, as in the medieval duel, the victor is said to win not by his own strength but because supernatural powers have intervened on the side of the right.” — Merriam-Webster Dictionary
In my particular case above, perhaps there was a measure of supernatural intervention that enabled me to be viewed as being innocent of any wrongdoing by those who would judge me. However, the deeper point to be grasped here is that refinement of the individual usually follows one’s conscious submission to ordeal.
Without further ado, I present the method of rapid toning of the PC muscle, for males. After this often-neglected muscle is brought under the conscious command of one’s will, one will have the ability to internally forestall ejaculation.
[Disclaimer: It is recommended that the following method of exercise be avoided in any instance where there is an existing ailment of the urogenital system. Likewise, if any unexpected discomfort occurs during the course of this exercise, discontinue the exercise immediately.]
The Water Ordeal is executed as follows:
- Fill a gallon-size container with drinking water.
- Every half-hour, for a period of eight hours, drink an eight-ounce glass of water from the container.
- Whenever the urge to urinate occurs, only empty the bladder halfway. To accomplish this, one must stop the flow of urine, by tensing the muscles in the pelvic floor while tightening the buttocks.
The anatomical image at left (Image 1.) is provided as an aid to one’s understanding of where the PC muscle is located. Part of the Levator Ani group of muscles, the Pubococcygeus (PC) muscle stretches from the pubic bone to the coccyx (tailbone), forming the floor of the pelvic cavity and supporting the pelvic organs. Its functions are twofold: it controls the flow of urine, and it transmits energy from the pubic bone to the coccyx, as it contracts during the process of orgasm. The latter of these functions of the Pubococcygeus muscle is at the root of the prevailing misunderstanding of the processes of orgasm, as it is instead the Deep transverse perineal muscle whose contractions (in response to a spinal cord reflex action) are responsible for the emptying of the prostate gland during the process of ejaculation. However, the timing of the sequence of the contractions of the two muscles is often so quick as to make orgasm and ejaculation seem like a single event.
Don’t (hold) shit where you sleep
Somewhat tangentially, we must momentarily discuss the anus, and its passive role in the avoidance of ejaculation. Simply put, prior to engaging in sexual intercourse, it is best to make certain that both the anus and rectum are clear of fecal material. This is because the anus depends upon the muscles of the pelvic floor to accomplish the function of defecation. Specifically, the Levator Ani muscles are responsible for pulling up the anus during defecation. Contained in that muscle group are also the muscles that are associated with bringing about orgasm. When attempting to mentally override the nervous system’s intrinsic programming toward ejaculation, one must be able to focus upon the specific muscles that are involved in the process. Clearing the anus beforehand makes it possible for one to more readily discern the various muscular impulses that arise during intercourse.
In the case of the rectum, because its anterior wall is located in close proximity to the prostate gland, the presence of fecal matter tends to create confusion of sensation around the prostate. And of course, because the anus is the ultimate destination of matter transiting through the rectum, the reasons for the recommendations here should be apparent.
Caught in the act
Through an understanding of the sequence and timing of the processes that distinguish orgasm from ejaculation, one is better able to accomplish the retention of charged semen during intercourse; although, retention is but the first step on the journey to transmutation of sexual energy. Interruption of the external ejection of semen can be (somewhat artificially) accomplished by one’s placing pressure on the “Million Dollar Point”: the intersection of the PC muscle and the DTP muscle. This action results in a retrograde ejaculation — into the bladder. In the three books by the Taoist masters mentioned earlier in this chapter, the “Million Dollar Point” technique is recommended for beginners in the practices of seminal retention. However, the problem is that once the contractions of the DTP muscle have begun, in response to the contractions of the PC muscle and the resulting spinal cord reflex, ejaculation (retrograde or otherwise) will be unavoidable; and the seminal energy will still be diminished. In a nutshell, reliance upon that method is somewhat akin to buying a thousand lottery tickets in the hope of hitting the jackpot. The odds of winning at least something are moderately high; however, in the heat of the moment, there are no guarantees. [With that single notable exception to the work of those masters having been stated, I hold their work in the highest regard. In particular, Mantak Chia’s work in the areas of Qigong & sexual transmutation is so complete and well-documented that I will refrain herein from discussion of the methods; instead, I direct the reader immediately to his work.]
[Special note: A few days after completion of the above paragraph, I discovered that one of the authors of one of the works mentioned above, Michael Winn, has recently begun to recommend against the use of the “Million Dollar Point” technique that he formerly promoted. However, because of the wide availability of editions of his work that predate his recent retraction, I find relevance in the above discussion — the aim of which is repudiation of the technique.]
To best retain and utilize seminal energy, one should seek to avoid the ejaculative impulse altogether…and this is accomplished by avoiding instigation of the spinal cord reflex. A two-party exercise that can help to further delineate the functions of the muscles that bring about orgasm, versus those which accomplish ejaculation, is offered below. A benefit to both parties to the engagement, this is exercise also serves to extend considerably the period of sexual intercourse:
The Long Road Exercise
Relax. The ultimate goal of this exercise is to enjoy time shared with one’s partner — and to extend that period for as long as is desired by both partners.
Using a countdown timer, stopwatch, or some other timing device:
- Set the timer for two minutes. Thus, the initial set time = 2.
- Start the timer. Begin engaging in penetrative intercourse.
- During the act of penetration, employ a shallow thrusting motion, punctuated by occasional deep thrusts. Avoid successive quick thrusts. Move slowly.
- Immediately, at the first impulse toward ejaculation, or when the timer elapses (whichever occurs first), pause and withdraw.
- Wait for a period of at least two minutes before recommencing penetration.
- Set the timer for a time equal to the previous set time + 1 minute. (Example, if the timer was set for two minutes on the previous round of penetration, then set the timer for three minutes.) If the new set time = 10, then go to Step #8.
- Go to step #2.
- You have completed the exercise. You have been engaged in penetrative intercourse for a minimum period = 2 +3 + 4 + 5 + 6 + 7 + 8 + 9 minutes = 44 minutes, within a minimum total elapsed period of 60 minutes = 1 hour.
[The astute reader will notice that the above exercise is a playful way to help an overly sensitive male extend his energies well beyond his normal ejaculation horizon. More importantly, it will afford the feminine partner a longer period of active coital engagement, thereby increasing the potential for her to achieve satisfaction from penetrative intercourse. Obviously, a couple can adjust the set times upward, to suit their desires; however, the above-suggested times should be used as the minimum values.]
Governed by the wonders of the Autonomic Nervous System, ejaculation is a process through which the body predominates. However, orgasm (in males) is a much more lengthy process in which the spirit begins to predominate, under the conscious command of the mind.
The human body is designed to respond with relative immediacy to the commands of the mind. Accordingly, its control faculties are built-in; and once the mind issues a command, the body accomplishes its assigned task fairly automatically. One would not be able to take a single step, nor lift a finger, if one had to consciously exert the control over the myriad processes that are responsible for accomplishing even these simplest of tasks. Part of this control strategy built-in to the body are the following directives: i.) to preserve itself, and ii.) to replicate itself.
The human mind is the vehicle through which our species evolves. Through ever-increasing understanding, we have put in place practices and customs that temper the body’s primary directives in such a fashion as to cause successive generations to be evolutionary improvements. Such a dynamic can be witnessed in humanity’s abandonment and prohibition of incest, the former practice of which served to propagate damaging recessive genetic components. Perhaps, a side benefit of the increased hardiness of our species that resulted from the prohibition of that practice is the further expansion of the abilities of the mind.
Using the mind to override the body’s replicate directive (which is in-force during sexual intercourse), in favor of the directive to preserve, will enable us to move to the next stage of our evolution as a species. Through conservation of charged semen, one can begin the processes of transmutation. With the brain being chief among the organs to benefit, transmutation of sexual energy leads to enrichment of all the body’s organs.
[By the way, although I would love to be able to speak about the female orgasmic experience with some credibility, I cannot. With regard to the male, I speak from experience, and an ever-fragile mastery. One must remain humble in the face of the body’s powerful tendency to operate in accordance with its directives.]
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